Sleepover

when i asked mary if i could stay with her for a few days, i felt like a kid again. i was a little nervous, but mostly excited about the possibility of a sleepover. i didn’t know what she would think. would she want me to come? would it be an inconvenience? 

after an awkward pause, her smile puts me at ease, and she finally says, “it’s good!” (sigh of relief) 

so i spent 4 nights with mary, practicing language, learning moru culture, and spending time with a friend. 

i learned (ok, mostly watched) how to cook traditional food. 

i brushed my teeth with a stick. swept the compound with a bundle of sticks. chased chickens. carried water on my head (i've seen children carry bigger containers on their head, but i've got to start somewhere, right?)

i learned some home remedies, like curing a nose bleed by wetting your head. rubbing mud on my bee sting. 


i ate mangoes in between every meal. passed the time lounging in the shade on a straw mat. had my hair braided.

had my hair braided again.

mary lives next to the borehole, which means everyone passes through her compound to get water at some point. there was plenty of time for visiting.

a few days, we gathered with other church members to help in making bricks for the pastor’s house. while everyone had different duties, like shoveling dirt, mixing mud, forming the blocks, my job was to turn the dried bricks and stack the finished ones. everyone cheered as though i had single-handedly constructed the house, though i’m aware it was a ‘special’ job to match my skill level. my dad would be proud.

after a few hours of labor, the women gathered at the church kitchen, talking, laughing, and practicing their english phrases. it was a rich time to live, work, eat, and pray among the women God has put in my life. 

after english class on friday, mary and i walked to ‘prayers’ at our friend, vida’s, house. they were celebrating the birthdays of all of the children on her compound. there was a short sermon, prayers over the children, and of course, eating. just as we were leaving, the children began to play some drums, and i watched the two oldest grandmother and grandfather dancing to the beat. precious. i hope i still have some moves at that age :)

as you may imagine, the language barriers were numerous and often comical. one morning, i walked out of the bathing area and mary asked in english ‘were there many beans in the bath?’ ‘beans???’ i asked. ‘yes, beans.’ still confused, i asked ‘you want to cook beans?’ ‘no, honey beans. kumuepe (she finally says in moru)’ ‘oh BEES!!!!’ hahahaha! 

each night, mary and i walked to the neighbors to sleep (because she lives too close to the road and doesn’t like to sleep alone). we laid on a mat outside, watching the stars, fighting sleep, and talking late into the evening. we ended each night with prayers and singing :)

at the end of my stay, mary called me into her house. she gathered some mangoes, a bowl of honey, and some ground nuts for me to take. i sat on her bed, trying to wrap up our time in words and sincere thanks. she finally settled next to me, listening, and then she began to cry. as i put my arm around her, a whirlwind of emotions took over. i asked her why she was crying. through her tears, she said, ‘i am alone. i have no family here. you stay with me as my sister. you cook with me and talk to me, and i am not alone. i want you to stay for a long time.’ 

she opened her heart to me in that moment, and i let the feeling of it settle deep into my bones. ‘me too’ was all i could manage to say. i thought back to a conversation i had with larissa just the previous week. i was telling her i wasn’t sure i’d ever have a truly deep connection with anyone in the community. i was sure of friendships, but with the language barrier and so many cultural differences, was it possible to understand one another in that way?

but there i was. sitting with mary. and i suddenly realized i felt a genuine heart-to-heart connection with her. she was speaking of things i too struggled with, being away from family, feeling alone. i prayed with her, thanking God for our friendship, asking that we would both feel his love and comfort in the midst our loneliness.

there were many times we were not able to understand each other. her daily routines and life experiences are very different than what i know. i seem to be at a constant state of mistakes, confusion, and learning. and though i can’t make sense of it all, God has given me a treasure in a friend. he continues to surprise me.